Read it online here: https://aloha-friday.org/archives/13514
A Frank and Earnest Conversation
F: Hi, I’m Frank.
E: And I’m Earnest.
F: We’re having a conversation about repentance.
E: There’s got to be a good reason for repentance, so we’ll be looking into that. There’s another person who might participate –
F: Ha! We’ll see about that! –
E: and that will be the narrator. His comments look (like this.)
(N: I’ll try to stay out of the way, OK?)
E: OK.
F: OK.
E: So Frank, you look a little down. What’s going on?
F: Oh, you know. It’s Lent. Time for the whole “fasting, prayer, and almsgiving” thing – and then there’s the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I don’t know why they had to change the name. “Confession” seems good enough to me.
E: What part of that has you worried?
F: Oh, it’s not that I’m worried about it so much. It’s just that … well confession seems to get harder and harder. I don’t know why we repent if all we do is just go out and do the same sins over and over. It’s like “what’s the point?” any more.
E: Well that’s a good question. What is the point?
F: The point is to be reconciled with God and neighbor. You know that! We have Reconciliation because we trust God’s justice and mercy.
E: Yes, that’s why we can – and do – repent. God is just and merciful, your confessor is trained not to be judgmental, and there’s always the Seal of Confession, so what exactly is bothering you?
F: I guess it’s the repentance part. I just don’t seem to get that done right. No matter what I do, it just doesn’t stick. I’m still so angry all the time, and ashamed. The way I’ve acted toward Ethel and the kids, even stopped going to Mass because I don’t want to sit there and not go to Communion because everybody will know I haven’t gone to Confession. Repentance seems impossible.
E: I see. Do you know what repentance is?
F: Of course I do. I’m not an ignoramus. I’m just not holy enough to make repentance a lasting change.
E: So? Do you know anyone who really is that holy?
F: Probably not personally, but there’s people like Mother Theresa and JP2. They were pretty saintly. And there’s Ethel. I don’t know how that woman puts up with me!
E: Were they like that every moment of their entire lives?
F: OK, probably not, but they were way better at it than me!
E: Maybe they got better at it because they practiced it so often. How often to you repent?
F: Alright smarty-pants, now you’re poking fun at me. I don’t go for reconciliation every week or even every month. Mostly I go for Christmas and Easter, and maybe sometimes in between if I really mess up.
E: Is that often enough?
F: It’s as often as I can make it. I know I’m a sinner, and I know I have to stop that if I’m going to get to Heaven, and that means I’ve got to repent. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You repent so you don’t go back and do “what is evil in God’s sight” any longer? If I keep up like that I don’t think he can forgive me.
E: Tell me this: Has God ever forgiven you?
F: Of course he has! Many times, too. He must be tired of that same old song and dance, though, every time I hit the confessional booth. Some of those things I can’t get past – like the way Richard always gets to me, or when Ethel starts nagging again. I just lose my cool and blow up.
E: Have you told either of them you’re sorry?
F: Ethel? Yes, she’s my wife after all, and she puts up with me even when I rant and pout for days. Talk about a faith and love! I wish I knew how she does it.
E: She must really love you. How about Richard?
F: Ehh, no, not really. That blowhard wouldn’t accept an apology if you gift-wrapped it.
E: When you tell Ethel you’re sorry, does she forgive you?
F: Generally, yeah, although usually she gives me a piece of her mind, too – which I deserve.
E: So then Ethel, who is human, can forgive you, but God, who is Divine and Omnipotent cannot?
F: I didn’t say he couldn’t do it, I just think he’d get tired of me saying the same thing over and over and not really getting past things like my anger, or – back in the day – my alcohol hang-ups. I mean, it worries me all the time. What if I relapse, or what if I really lose it one day and give Richard the beat-down he deserves, or Ethel – what if I disappoint her again? I just can’t bear to go through that or make her deal with it again!
E: Look, let’s try something different. Have you ever done anything that wasn’t sinful?
F: I suppose I have, but what do you mean? Like maybe when I was baptized? That was when I was a baby so that doesn’t really count; I was already “innocent” – except for original sin, of course.
E: Good. That’s a great way to understand it. Now, let’s say we think about the day you took your First Communion – was there something about that which was sinful, or did you receive in good form?
F: Yeah, it was OK. Fr. Kelly was a stickler about having your hands palm-to-palm and opening your mouth just right so he could lay the Host on your tongue. I did all of that. Ahhh, I haven’t thought about that in a long time. I was just maybe 8 at the time. That was a pretty good day.
E: How about the day you married Ethel? Did you really mean what you said when you took your vows for Holy Matrimony?
F: Of course I did. I loved Ethel so much – still do, too.
E: Never been unfaithful – not even “lust in the heart” like Jimmy Carter?
F: Nope. Not happenin’.
E: Alright, so you do know there are a few times in your life when you “did things right.” How do you describe the times in your life when you “did things wrong?”
F: That’s not it. Being wrong isn’t the problem. What’s getting me is that I cannot repent because I know I’m going to sin again – probably the same things, too. Holiness is spiritual excellence. That’s not in my wheelhouse.
F: What was it Aristotle said about excellence?
E: Dunno. Ask that narrator guy.
N: (Aristotle said, “We become what we continually do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”)
F: Think about this: How did you stop smoking 7 years ago?
E: I stopped buying the nasty things.
F: That was the first day. Did you buy any the second day? The third day? The first year? Yesterday?
E: No. Why?
F: You quit by continually quitting, right? How about your medicine for diabetes? What happens if you don’t take it?
E: I get sick and die?
F: Right! Now, let’s remember what Jesus said at the start of his ministry: “Repent and believe the Gospel.” That’s the process called conversion. You decide to change, to embrace “metanoia,” and then you place your faith in him. That’s conversion. Once you experience conversion, you’re ready to follow him. Remember? “Come, follow me.”?
E: That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t last.
F: Unless you make it last. Think of it as a four-step process: Repent, believe, follow, repeat. When we repent and believe, that’s conversion. When we follow and repeat, that’s action. Conversion plus action equals … holiness.
E: I don’t know. It sounds too easy. And, like I said, it doesn’t last.
F: Ernie, it’s never “once and done.” Remember, it has to become a habit – like not smoking. Most days you don’t even have to think about that, right? Repentance works pretty much the same way. If Jesus is as real to you as he was to the Disciples at the Ascension, then you know he’s always there for you, always coming back to you in the Sacraments. AND you’ve got the Holy Spirit to help you, too. Repentance opens the door to holiness.
E: But I don’t know how to be holy.
N: (And now ….)
F: Narrator?
N: (1 Thessalonians 3:12–13 – 12 And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, just as we abound in love for you. 13 And may he so strengthen your hearts in holiness that you may be blameless before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.)
F: YOU can’t do it without HIS help, and his help comes through Love: Matthew 22:37-39 – 37 He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” In other words, we make a conscious decision to correct our thinking, our communications, and our behaviors and we make that decision continuously public through our actions. That’s repentance in a nutshell. Narrator, what’s your take?
N: (The Catechism of the Catholic Church [CCC] §982 begins with “There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. “There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest. Christ, who died for all men, desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin. §983 Catechesis strives to awaken and nourish in the faithful faith in the incomparable greatness of the risen Christ’s gift to his Church: the mission and the power to forgive sins through the ministry of the apostles and their successors.)
E: Who is that guy? What’s going on, anyway?
F: We’re just trying to tell you two things [1] if you sincerely confess your sins, there’s forgiveness – you acknowledge your sins and repent. That’s necessary because repentance is turning away from sin – which we recognize and regret – so that we turn again toward God. In this case, repentance involves something many people don’t think about: Conversion.
E: You mean like the “born-again Christians” on TV?
F: In a way, yes, we do need real conversion. Here, let’s ask that narrator again for some help.
N: (CCC §1427: Jesus calls [us] to conversion. This call is an essential part of the proclamation of the kingdom: “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the gospel.” §1429 St. Peter’s conversion after he had denied his master three times bears witness to this. Jesus’ look of infinite mercy drew tears of repentance from Peter and, after the Lord’s resurrection, a threefold affirmation of love for him. The second conversion also has a communitarian dimension, as is clear in the Lord’s call to a whole Church: “Repent!” St. Ambrose says of the two conversions that, in the Church, “there are water and tears: the water of Baptism and the tears of repentance.” §1431 Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus [affliction of spirit] and compunctio cordis [repentance of heart]. Emphasis added.)
F: It’s that interior repentance, the “radical reorientation of our whole life” you seem to be wondering about. Trust me, everyone feels the same way, like we should be able to stop being so sinful. Even the Apostle Paul wrote about that.
N: (Take a look at what the Apostle Paul said: Romans 7:15-20 – 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me.)
F: Now, Ernie, do you think Paul worried about whether or not God could forgive him even if he never lost his sinfulness? You see, God can, and does, forgive our sins, and then he forgets them. We don’t need to keep reminding him of stuff he’s already forgiven and forgotten. Think about conversion. Is that something you can do?
E: Like that song “Just As I Am?” (↔ Music Link)
F: Not quite. Jesus expects you to repent, not just show up without doing anything about your sin. He does certainly accept you as you are as a sinner – you don’t have to wait until you’re holy to repent, because you repent to approach holiness – but he wants you to take it through the process of conversion. Remember he said, “Repent, and believe the Gospel.” Believing the Gospel without repentance will leave you dissatisfied. Is that how you feel now?
E: I admit, I was feeling like that, but I feel have some things to think about. It seems that metanoia is a change not only in heart and mind but also – and most importantly – a change in actions and behavior. I can change my actions and behavior at least a little and if it doesn’t last long, I can try again, right?
F: That’s right. There’s no limit (N: ← Check it out!) on how many times you can repent – of anything or everything – as long as it includes the aspect of conversion – that “firm purpose of amendment” in the Act of Contrition. Conversion is the key to sincere contrition and effective repentance no matter how many times you have to do it. If Jesus is as real to you as he was to the Disciples at the Ascension, then that should help you realize that you’re confessing to him, not “just Fr. Kelly.” That’s because God’s Mercy is the result of his Justice being dispensed in Love that is so complete and unwavering, so steadfast and constant that we cannot comprehend its full extent. The best we can do is to think of Grace, “the free gift and unmerited favor of God,” which is always available to everyone.
E: You’ve given me a lot to think about. That narrator, too. Maybe I should get home and pull out the laptop and find the Catechism of the Catholic Church (↔ Click Link) and look for the word “repent” I can get some more ideas.
F: Good thinking. RIGHT THINKING! Say hi to Ethel when you get home.
E: Thanks. I will. I wonder if that narrator will be around.
F: I imagine so. He’s got some closing remarks to do here.
N: (Thank you guys for being frank and earnest in your conversation.)
F: Very funny.
E: Yeah, like who else could we be?
N: (It sounds like maybe we need to think more about why we DON’T repent. You folks out there, reading this, WHAT STOPS US FROM REPENTING? That’s something to think about, OK? For next week try thinking about who repents to whom, and why we often decide not to repent.)
N: (And now the conversation continues….)
E: I think I see what you’re getting at. What Jesus really wants from us is conversion, but not just as a one-time-thing. It needs to be a continuous process – like living with a good habit.
F: That makes sense, doesn’t it, given what we know about God’s call to repentance? If we experience conversion, and then act on it, that is metanoia – turning away from sin and back to God – in a very real and special way.
E: Yeah, I see; it’s like “Conversion plus action equals … holiness.” But riddle me this, Frank, how come we have to go to a Priest and everyone else just goes directly to God? Why can’t we do that, too?
F: The Church teaches that Reconciliation is a Sacrament, not a DIY project. Because it is a Sacrament, it is firstly instituted by Christ, secondly carried forward by the Church, and thirdly must be conducted by Ordained Clergy with the authority to perform the Sacrament. Not all Christian churches treat reconciliation as a Sacrament. Our Church does.
E: So you’re saying that Ordination makes it possible for a Priest to forgive sins, is that right?
F: Almost. Think about the prayer of absolution the Priest says: “God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, X and of the Holy Spirit.” God has reconciled us to himself, and it is through the ministry of the Church that God pardons us at the moment when the Priest exercises his Sacramental authority received during his ordination to carry out Christ’s instructions found in John 20:21-23. Hey, Narrator, how about a little help with that?
N: (Sure thing: 21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22 When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”)
F: Our Church’s teaching is that Christ himself gave the Apostles the authority to provide absolution. This occurred because they experienced what is called “an ontological change.” The remain human and sinful – like all of us – but unlike all of us, Christ has imputed, assigned, righteousness to them which no one could ever earn through personal effort. That ontological change is passed down through the Apostolic Succession so that each ordained Priest receives the same authority.
E: Huh! That’s something I hadn’t thought about. It must be even more difficult now with all the furor over the errors made by a small cadre of errant Priests and the hierarchy surrounding them.
F: Sad but true. But even there, those who repent have access to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Remember, it requires conversion and action – including penance accompanied by the act of restitution and the experience of renewal. That is what the Apostle Paul referred to as the “ministry of reconciliation.” That means we can have our relationship with Christ restored through the forgiveness of our sins which is promised as being available to us through Christ when we acknowledge regret for our sins and repent, confess our sins and do penance, and seek and accept his forgiveness.
E: That sounds a little complicated, but still, it makes sense. I think you’re telling me that God always makes it possible for me to get back to him and be restored to his Grace. It makes me wonder, though, how some people can regret their mistakes and try to make amends with God but their lives are still a mess. How does that happen?
F: There are still always the temporal consequences of sin that must be lived out. Let’s try another example from the Old Testament. Do you remember that Bible passage we hear during Lent in Exodus 17:6 when Moses struck the rock at Meribah?
E: Sure. God told him to strike the rock with his rod and then water came out.
F: Very good; now do you remember the second time Moses struck a rock?
E: There was a second time? Remind me how that happened.
F: The first time, God told Moses to strike the rock. The second time, God told Moses to speak to the rock – to command the rock to yield its water. Moses didn’t do what God told him to do, and because of that, God forbade him from entering the Promised Land. That’s a harsh lesson we often overlook. As righteous and holy as Moses was, the only man to stay in the Presence of the Lord so long that some of the Lord’s Sh’khinah glory made his face and garments glisten will brilliant light, Moses had to endure the temporal punishment for not trusting God and for not showing God’s holiness before the Israelites.
E: Well, wow! Now I’m convinced that it’s hopeless for me to be holy. I’m right back at “What’s the point?”
F: The point is that you don’t have to be holy to be reconciled. The point is that reconciliation restores us to friendship with, in, and for God. Then we experience a restoration of the state of Grace God intended for us when He created us. We are spiritually reborn, converted from a sin-stained soul and reconformed to the image of God. We are radically changed and able to recognize, accept, and make use of the graces God has given us; we are made new again. We do this in the Sacrament of Reconciliation so that we experience a humbling encounter in a person-to-person setting. There are always three persons in that setting: Me, the Priest, and God. It is Jesus who is listening to me recounting my sins. It is the Holy Spirit who is guiding my confessor’s spiritual instructions and provision of absolution. It is God the Almighty and Everliving Creator who provides everyone with this Grace of repentance and reconciliation.
E: I don’t know. That sounds pretty convincing, but I’m still not sure I can make it last.
F: I understand. Let me ask you a question. What is the shortest possible measure of time?
E: I’m no good at math! Maybe a micro-nano-second?
F: No, the shortest measure of time is a “moment.” Remember? It Only Takes A Moment to be loved a whole life long? It only takes a moment to do one holy thing. Can you picture yourself being completely abandoned to God and utterly, profoundly in Love with him if only for a moment? Isn’t it possible you can actually do that, even for just a moment? *
E: Well, if you put it that way, I guess so.
F: Imagine then, that if you can do that once, then you can do that a second, and third, and fifth, and ninetieth, and a 4,357th time. Further, if you can make that many of your moments holy, then you will be different because you are developing the habit of holiness. Repentance and reconciliation is God’s gift to you – especially during Lent – to help you remember that you are created in HIS image, created to be holy, and to help you with that he keeps giving you more moments to “do whatever he tells you.” God does not see us as being holy as he is Holy, but he does see us continually striving for holiness and treasures us every moment we make our lives a holy moment for him. God is always present in our messed-up lives – even in our messed-up church – and because of that we can always be reconciled to him through this most beautiful (N: And most underutilized!) Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is a very personal dialogue with him.
E: I guess I really shouldn’t worry so much about what the Priest will think of me then. I should just go in there and get it over with.
F: Maybe you could just go in there and get it started again? Don’t be afraid to approach Christ this way. He took on our human nature to do something we cannot do for ourselves: Redeem us.
E: I see what you mean. Every repenting followed by reconciliation is a new beginning – like the Apostle Paul said – and all I need to do is accept that this is the will of God for me and believe firmly in his divine wisdom, justice, and mercy. That makes a lot more sense than skipping confession because I think it makes me look bad. I already know how I look; I look like a sinner, but I also already know how I can look. I can look like a redeemed sinner!
F: Brother, you bring joy to my heart to hear you say that. And if you listen carefully you will hear the Angels rejoicing, too. God bless you, Ernie!
E: I guess I understand now why so many of us don’t repent, don’t seek the Sacrament of reconciliation. It’s Pride. Talk about “stiff-necked people!” It has been my lack of – my refusal to accept the importance of – humility in my life. Humility is, in a way, a masterful blend of the Four Cardinal Virtues – Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, and Temperance. Humility gives us the power to be a statesman rather than a politician, a servant rather than a ruler, and a child of God rather than a spawn of evil. Humility is the form of Love Jesus showed by coming to us as an infant – helpless, impoverished, homeless, and yet mightiest of the Mighty.
F: Well, said Ernie! With that attitude, you really can Go Make A Difference. (↔ Music Link) It’s that lack of humility that seems to negate our awareness of sin. We no longer have a sense of sin, what it is, or how much it affects our lives. We excuse it by telling ourselves “Oh, it’s not all that bad,” when instead we still consciously and knowingly choose to disobey God’s call to holiness. We conclude we’re not as sinful as everyone else and so we don’t need to repent. That is a serious error, and it’s really hurting the Church. Ernie, your moments of holiness, along with many other’s moments, can actually help all of us correct that error.
N: (Thanks for tuning in. Someday we might continue this conversation, but that’s all for now.)
Whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever, however, if ever, forever —
at your service, Belovéd!
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John 14:28-31 – 28 You heard me say to you, “I am going away, and I am coming to you.” If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I. 29 And now I have told you this before it occurs, so that when it does occur, you may believe. 30 I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no power over me; 31 but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us be on our way.
John 20:20b-23 – Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22 When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” 
Today’s Key Verse is part of the Second Reading (
“What a loser!” That’s a powerful insult. When that epithet is thrown at us, it hurts (despite that old “sticks and stones” adage). It is devaluing. It is derogatory. It is even dehumanizing. Jesus told us that when we say to someone “You fool!” we are “in danger of hell fire.” (See 
and of the Holy Spirit.” God has reconciled us to himself, and it is through the ministry of the Church that God pardons us at the moment when the Priest exercises his Sacramental authority received during his ordination to carry out Christ’s instructions found in 
