1510AFC030615 – By Love Adopted
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John 19:26-27 – 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)
Today is the third Friday of Lent, and we continue with the Seven Words of Christ. In this scene at the foot of the Cross, Mary the Mother of Jesus, the Apostle John, and other women who were friends and supporters of Jesus and the Disciples are near enough to the Cross that they can see and hear Jesus and he can see them. Although none of the Gospel accounts record that this group followed Jesus as he carried his Cross to Golgotha, we do know that after he had been crucified and had endured the agony of that cruel torture for some time, he spoke first to his Father begging forgiveness for his executioners. A little later on, as the crowd and the soldiers mocked and jeered beneath him, he spoke words of forgiveness and hope to the repentant thief crucified along with him. At this point in his Passion, he turns to his Mother and to John and with kindness so characteristic of the Son of God, he commends his mother to the care of The Beloved Disciple, John; and Jesus also commends John to Mary’s care. John has already left his family behind to follow Jesus. (See Mark 1:20) Now Jesus gives John and Mary an adoptive family.
It is quite probable that John’s parents, Zebedee and Salome, were still alive; but, they are not mentioned as bystanders by the Cross. As we look through the Gospels, this is the list of women there during that terrible day: Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and John, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee (Matthew 25:55-56), and Jesus’ mother’s sister Mary the wife of Cl(e)opas (either Clopas or Cleopas, probably the same person). John was the only man who had traveled with Jesus during his ministry who had the love and courage to stand by him during his Passion and death; but, several of the women who were among his most active disciples were there, including his Mother, his first true disciple. She and John went on to spread the Gospel after Jesus’ ascension. I can only imagine how wondrous it must have been to hear Mary say, “Let me tell you about my Son,” all the while depending on her “adopted” son, John.
When I think of adoption, I often remember the story of Mephibosheth { mef-ee-bo’-sheth} (or Merib-baal), the crippled son of King David’s friend Jonathan. After David had defeated all his enemies, he searched for any relatives of Jonathan who might have survived the wars. He was told about Mephibosheth and had him brought to his court. David restored all of Saul’s lands to him, and “Mephiboshethate at David’stable, like one of the king’s sons.” (See 2 Samuel 9). Although the concept of adoption was not expressed in the Old Testament and was not practiced by the Israelites per se, they understood this kind of relationship as one of the ways God cared for their nation. For example, through Moses he says to Pharaoh, “Thus says the Lord: Israel is my firstborn son.” (See Exodus 4:22) Through the prophets Isaiah and Hosea God states he is a Father to Israel, and has loved them as his own children. In Psalm 2:7, David writes, I will tell of the decree of the Lord: He said to me, “You are my son; today I have begotten you.” And Paul cites 2 Samuel 7:14 in Hebrews 1:5 – 5 For to which of the angels did God ever say, “You are my Son; today I have begotten you”? Or again, “I will be his Father, and he will be my Son”? Paul understood our kinship with Christ as an adoption – we are sisters and brothers of the Lord through adoption by the Father, and – I think – by the Son as well.
And of course, the most famous Old Testament story of adoption is the story of Moses. In Exodus 1:15-22, we learn that Pharaoh had decreed that the midwives who attended to the Hebrew women were to dispose of the males but keep the females. Later, in Exodus 2:1-10, we read that a Levite woman named Jochebed gave birth to a male child and, putting him in a waterproof basket, set him adrift in the Nile where he was discovered and subsequently adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter. It was God’s will that the child would become Moses, and to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt.
In the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke Jesus clearly states that whoever does God’s will is his brother and sister and mother. See Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3:31-35, and Luke 8:19-21. The Apostle Paul refers to our relationship with God the Father and God the Son as an adoption in these passages:
Galatians 3:29 – 29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise.
John 1:12-13 – 12 But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.
Romans 8:14-18 – 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. 15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba!Father!” 16 it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.
Understanding adoption may be difficult for some of us who have not experienced adoption. Here in Hawaiʽi there is an old tradition of Hānai which is an informal adoption and promise of caregiving between two persons. Here it is often one family “grafting” their child or other relative into another family. Other Polynesian cultures have similar traditions. The long, complicated, and often frustrating process of legal adoption is another relationship many of us do not understand well unless we have been through it. Crucita and I have done that twice, and it is so very true that we love our children deeply and uniquely, and I believe in some ways with intensity equal to or greater than parents who are able to bear children. We also have a practice called Spiritual Adoption. It’s a little different from the Spiritual Adoption of Unborn Human Life in that it is a consensual agreement between us and another (or others) to pray for and care about someone we love. Here’s how it goes:
SPIRITUAL ADOPTION
_____________, I claim your life in the name of Jesus. From this day forward may no person, place, thing, idea, or spirit ever hinder or harm the bond in His love that exists between us now; and so may Almighty God bless you, and I bless you [S.O.T.C. (+) traced on the forehead] in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. _________________, from now on, you are a [brother/sister // son/daughter // etc.) to me as we are children of the Father, and heirs with the Son through the Unity of the Holy Spirit. Peace be with you.
When these words are spoken, “I claim your life in the name of Jesus,” It means the adoptive parent/sibling is taking on the responsibility of caring for the spiritual welfare of the adopted child/sibling. It is a pledge to lovingly pray for each other with the closeness of a sacred and consecrated familial bond. In some cases, Spiritually Adopted persons achieve a relationship that is even closer that biological relationships.
It would be negligent of me not to mention that sometimes being adopted is difficult. We’ve all seen movies, news reports, and documentaries about children who were “given up for adoption” finding their birth parent(s), or birth parents praying for and about the children the released into the love of an adoptive family. Usually adoption works out well, and these children – born of two hearts from two mothers – grow up knowing who they are as individuals. Some never look for their birth parents, content to know that they had the unconditional love of their adoptive parents. Some always long for that connection to the “other family,” the brothers and sisters, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles that are somewhere out there. I think that is like the ache we feel for the Family of God – we want to be with them and for them to be with us. Even in death, we long to be reunited, and often reach out – or feel connected still – to loved-ones who have passed. I believe that is because we all recognize that there is something Eternal within us; it is that Love about which Paul wrote, the love that makes us cry out to God “Daddy! Father! I love you!” We know that love because our God gave us his only begotten Son, and on the Cross the Son gave us his Mother and His brother as examples of the true kindred of Christ: Those who do the will of his Father.
And yes, I do know I am the Brother of Jesus, a son of the Father, and am so very grateful that I can choose and have chosen Mary to be my Mother just as John chose her there at the foot of the Cross.
Whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever, however, if ever, forever — at your service, Beloved
Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture passages are from the New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE) New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Aloha Friday Messages by Charles O. Todd, III is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License
