1006AFC020510
Beloved, let me begin by putting in the scripture reading from last week. I left it out and decided against sending you an extra message midweek.
1COR 15:3-5
(NIV) 3 For I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures; 4 that he was buried; that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures; 5 that he appeared to Cephas, then to the Twelve.
(KJV 3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: 5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve
Pretty straightforward summary of the facts, yes? In this statement, Paul is stating rather matter-of-factly that everything went according to the plan. If there was no Plan, then we might be less certain that God had us on His mind when he condemned the Serpent in Genesis.
2PET 1:20
(NIV)20 Know this first of all, that there is no prophecy of scripture that is a matter of personal interpretation, 21 for no prophecy ever came through human will; but rather human beings moved by the holy Spirit spoke under the influence of God.
(KJV) 20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. 21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.
So, for those men and women throughout the ages who came up with their own ideas about how God has revealed Himself to humanity, all they get is an imaginary reward based on their imaginary revelations. That sounds fair to me.
So, what about the AFC message today? How about a couple of cute church stories from the library of stuff you folks send?
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
“When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.
“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.
“Inside the door, I was met by this Dude in a suit,” Joe went on.
“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.
“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.
“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said, obviously exasperated.
“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.
“Pew,” Charlie retorted.
“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”
And then there is this one:
After the service a young couple talked to a church member about joining the church. He hadn’t met the husband before, and he asked him what church he was transferring from in town .
After a short hesitation, he replied, “I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course.”
Or perhaps you’ll like this collection from church bulletins:
Please remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The beautiful flowers on the altar this morning are to celebrate the birth of David Alan Belzer, who is the second sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
If any of the members of the congregation have children and don’t know it, there is a nursery downstairs.
Everyone is welcome this Tuesday at 4 PM for an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
At the Ladies Liturgy Society this Thursday, Mrs. Smith will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.
This Friday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
This week we invite any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
This Monday we will be holding a ”Bean Supper” in the church hall. Music will follow.
The topic for our sermon next week will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
This evening there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
The 2003 Church Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
A couple of those are cause for a pause – to chuckle a little bit. You know, we see those T-shirts once in a while that say, “I’m not perfect ’cause God’s still workin’ on me!” It’s a good thing He has a sense of humor, because some of our bloopers are pretty comical. Humor and music are just two of the most wonderful gifts imaginable. They might be slightly outdone by love and friendship. So, if you have a loving friend who sings funny songs…Wow! God has really blessed you GOOD!!
I have one more that I think you may like. Now, it’s a “Mother-In-Law Joke,” but it’s a good story with a good message. My mother-in-law was a remarkable woman, and I still love her very much although she passed many years ago, but I don’t think she was quite as remarkable as this fellow believe his was.
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $1500.”
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only $1500?”
The man replied, “A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
Pray for the people, ALL the People. Pray for everyone who prays for you and everyone who asks for your prayers.
DG is going for her surgery in a couple of weeks. Pray they get all the cancer. Please remember CK and her baby; she’s carrying it to term despite having to also carry stillborn twins. BL has shared with us she is thinking about giving her entire life to the Lord; she’s in second grade and she knows enough about it to explain it. DN is finding new meaning in life in service to others. Pray for continuing growth and strength. KV is still healing but doing so in faith makes it an even greater victory. MG progressing well after her stomach surgery and says “It’s working! Keep praying.” NA is still having a difficult time, but praising God all the way. PF is feeling every bit of his 94 years of serving the Lord, but still shares humor and great stories at church. Every Sunday.
I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll pray for everyone on your prayer list – sight unseen – if you’ll do so for someone else’s (with or without seeing the list). Thanks!
Whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever, however, if ever, forever — at your service, Beloved
chick
We’re getting close to the beginning of Lent. I have a series in mind for that. (Betcha you were thinking I was going to say I was giving up writing for Lent. Not gonna happen!) Hope you stay tuned and participate in the process.
